comix & etx by a weenie

Thursday, June 30, 2011

not grant update

our ceo is german and speaks english pretty well but sometimes he still has trouble with idioms. instead of "a bitter pill to swallow" or "a hard nut to crack" yesterday he combined them into the magical "hard nut to swallow."

- story reported by ANONYMOUS

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

grant brought me a present:

it's veggie chips.

then he said, "it looks like you showered today."

and i said, "well, i did."

and then he made a hilarious joke about how i will be young for two more months, and walked away.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

the tail of a conversation grant and i just had

me: well, you don't want to become unattractive to your wife.

[pause]

grant: i'm pretty sure that ship has sailed.

grant's wife update

we're friends on facebook now.

i wonder if grant will notice.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

grant updates from earlier today

i offered him a veggie chip from the bag i was eating and he took the only one that was a beet, which i like best.

i told him he was my favorite person at work, but then i reminded him what a small pool of nice or interesting or NOT TOTAL MORONS i have to choose from.

he hasn't worn white shoes in, i dunno, years. remember when he used to?

Monday, June 20, 2011

grant, the inventor

THIS is his latest invention. HARDY HAR HAR.

he showed this to me after he brought up wanting to buy a "fuck chair" for the small conference room.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

ALERT

grant just caught me watching melrose place.

i hope grant never catches me writing a blog about grant.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

grant said something really good this morning

regarding a client, and regarding feeling like you're in control but you aren't at all. and i meant to write it down so i could write about it because it applied to all of life, like some of the things he sometimes says do.

he ate a tuna fish sandwich for lunch and then tried to tell me a story about his life which was actually that scene from reality bites where ethan hawke eats the candy bar and gets fired.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

grant update 6/14/11 11:37pm

GRANT AND HIS DEPARTMENT ARE GOING ON A PICNIC HE INVITED ME I SAID NO STOP

on grant

mitch on grant: he's like the most straight-laced guy ever.

myself on grant: he's pretty much the weirdest person ever.

grant on mitch: he's lived a scandalous life.

Monday, June 6, 2011

grant/myself update: JUST NOW BREAKING

grant has taken to drinking at lunch, because "it makes the afternoon easier."

today whoever he ate lunch with told him he is good at maintaining control of situations because he is able to stay emotionally distant.

i said "i'm not very good at that at all!"

he said "you use irony to your advantage, though." and then, "but i guess you're still a girl."

i looked at him and as he walked away he said "yeah, at the end of the day, you're still just a girl."

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