comix & etx by a weenie

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

a conversation with my boss just now

me: maybe you're retarded.
him: maybe?

instant message photobooth mashup with john, part 4: JOHN LOVES ALAN THICKE

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he immediately signed off.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

so kevin's in a meeting and he says

"what are after hours learnings? that sounds like something grant would be involved in."

Monday, December 14, 2009

christmas party grant update

i was sitting next to jeff. grant came over to our table and put his arms around us. "my two favorite employees!" he exclaimed. "we should go take a picture, the three of us!" (the theme of the work party was prom. winter wonderland!) i said "yes, we really should," as i shoved jeff out of the way. we didn't, though.

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grant came over to where i was sitting next to stefanie, who was my date. to me he said "you look ravishing." to stefanie he said "are you his date?" while pointing to jj. "no," she said, "i'm hers" pointing at me. "oh," he said. "doesn't she look great?" she asked him, while accidentally touching my boob. and then "i'm the boy!" (which she'd been telling everyone all night, actually.) "oh yeah?" he said, "you're doing a really good job," which i think was a reference to her boob touching. then he put his hand on my sleeve and started petting it. "i just want to pet you!" he said. i blushed, obviously. then he said i was glowing. he also said something about how velvet doesn't breathe to which i responded by telling him i wasn't wearing any underpants, which wasn't even true, just an inappropriate joke.

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my boss gave a speech in which he thanked me and then called me a "disobedient child" which is my line for him. i almost cried but only because he was almost crying (what a weenie) and i was drunk. afterwards i said "that was really sweet of you" and he said "shut up and act like yourself, i'm not prepared to have you be nice." it was all very loving.

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grant texted me. it took me a while to figure out who it was, since he signed it "luv, G" and no i didn't already have his phone number saved. obviously it was the best text message ever.

Friday, December 11, 2009

just when i thought i couldn't love grant more

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it turns out, i can love grant more. (someone else made this. thank you very much, someone else!)

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

AND EVEN BETTER

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he shouldn't have kept putting that dick sandwich picture on my myspace page. and he shouldn't have reminded me today that he used to torment me with that picture. but really i'm glad he did, because it made me go looking for this. THIS IS A MASTERPIECE.

look what i just found!

it's old. and it's not got a single thing to do with grant. i did microsoft paint it, though.

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Monday, December 7, 2009

Friday, December 4, 2009

two updates

the other day grant was showing some people including me a video he has been working on. it is starring rick lyon and it is for one of our clients, but it's pretty amazing in spite of all that.

so we watch it. everyone laughs. at the end, everyone claps. after that, grant turns to me and says "so what did you think, number one fan?"

then he turns to everyone and says "she's my target demographic."

***

just now i went over to his desk to give him something.

"thanks," he says, "for everything that you do."

"what?!" i say. "i have no idea what you're talking about."

"i just want you to know i appreciate all the work you do."

grant is delusional. i don't work!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

grant update 12/1/09 3:36 pm

grant and i were discussing his new baby. i asked what his daughter thought and he said "oh, she thinks he's great."

i said "for now."

then i said "if she needs any tips on dealing with annoying baby brothers, tell her she can talk to me."

he said "i will. she'd probably love you."

and i blushed, i think.

and then he said "you guys would be in love."

our relationship is less funny than it used to be.

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