comix & etx by a weenie

Friday, June 27, 2008

grant update 6/27/08 3:06 pm

grant comes over singing some song about how he wants an ice cream cone.

"do you have an ice cream cone?"

"no, grant, i don't."

he starts to walk away. then he turns around and says "how are you doing today? are you good? DO YOU EVER HAVE MOMENTS WHERE YOU'RE REALLY CONTENT?" and i say "well, not here, grant." and he laughs or whatever. then he says "i get the impression you're not really... yourself..." *rubs his slight beard* "...well, if i could explain it, i'd be a lot smarter than i am now."

and i say "self-actualized?"

and he says, "oh, yes!" and then we have a little conversation about life, me being in my mid-twenties and how it's a rough time for women. but then he clarifies that it's not a rough time for women but "it's a rough time for men who have to be with them." and i say "oh yeah, grant, then the men of the world are lucky, because they don't have to be with me" & i scowl at him. and he says "i didn't mean!" and then he starts to walk away.

but he turns around OF COURSE and says "i'm very familiar with women in that stage of their life" and i say "well, so am i" and he says "i think we have a lot in common."

if we both think he is a freak, then we DEFINITELY have a lot in common.

also, i like ice cream.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

grant update 6/24/08 12:08 pm

grant was walking out to lunch, after returning twenty minutes ago from a hour long coffee break, not that i'm paying attention or anything.

"hey grant, i guess you can look at it." i say, handing him the notebook. "well, now i don't want to." "oh, well, fuck you then." so he comes over to look at it anyway and of course flips through it in a way that is extremely annoying and he laughs while he does it and then he says "you're so secretive" and i say "well, i have a lot of secrets" and he says "i bet you do."

& then he says this is a really awesome notebook & goes to lunch, where i'm sure he will be for two hours, at least.

not that i am paying attention or anything!

grant update 6/24/08 11:11 am

last night grant and i ended up in the parking garage elevator at the same time. it was awkward.

just now, grant came over the snack bowl OF COURSE, looked at my desk, and said "hey, can i see that?!" pointing to a tiny little notebook in which i am writing a very secret letter to melissa. i said "NO!" and he said "oh, is it personal?" and i said "YES!" thinking about all the things i have written down about him in it. shit. he said "i just wanted to see the cover." "too bad, grant," i said.

he walked away and said "you're sassy, miss!"

zounds.

it does have a pretty awesome squirrel on the cover. i suppose he has good taste.

Monday, June 23, 2008

grant update 6/23/08 4:26 pm

two hours ago i asked him to email me something. he said okay, as soon as i finish this.

he was in the middle of an obviously very serious photoshoot with dan, don't ask.

he said, oh, send me an email so i remember.

so i sent him an email, in french and everything.

he still hasn't sent it to me & he is definitely done with that photoshoot. i can see him sitting at his desk right now with his giant headphones on & i know he is just trying to irritate me.

he is totally banned from snacks again!

Friday, June 20, 2008

grant update 6/20/08 11:10 am

i think he is spying on me!

robyn was at my desk & i told her that bright orange was a really nice color for her because it is and she is like, looking really good today. & ten seconds later grant comes around the corner and says "robyn, you look really nice in that shirt!" & then he looked at me & squinted/smiled.

!!!

maybe he is on to me!

shit.

he just came around the corner again.

i'm going to have to be more stealth about all of this.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

re: grant

to explain the previous blog & any future ones that might re: grant:

he is the art director where i work. he has a website which i discovered yesterday during a very cursory google search of his full name. the second day i worked at this place was a friday, so a whole bunch of us went out for happy hour. despite my best intentions i am fairly certain i got drunk. during the course of the evening, grant and i got into a very serious discussion about being native san diegans and did i move down to san diego with a boyfriend or alone and also how he looks just like my ex-bf john stafford, if you could somehow project john stafford ten years into the future. i then decided i would much rather talk to john stafford than grant, so i started text messaging him, effectively ending the very first stupid conversation i had with grant.

anyway, grant always makes me slightly uncomfortable on account of how he is always acting like such a freak & forcing me into weird conversations.

but i have a special place in my heart for him, on account of how he looks like future john & on account of all the mysteriousness.

grant update 06/19/08 3:20 pm

(this is part two in a series of myspace bulletins about grant, all of which will in the future be turned into blogs.)

so grant walks over to the my desk just a few minutes ago, presumably to get some kind of snack from the snack bowl. he's fishing around in there and so i say hello & how is your day going & he says ok, i'm getting things done! and i say me, too! and go back to typing whatever really important myspace message or survey i was working on.

clickety clickety clack.

i thought he was going to leave since we'd just had another monumentally stupid and boring exchange but instead he asks "so, do you ever do freelance work?" & i am thinking what the fuck are you talking about? but i say "what kind of freelance work, grant?" and he says "oh, i don't know." and then he stares at me with this half smile half dazed expression and says (to me or to himself i am not sure) "that's something to think about." and i am thinking "yes, THIS IS ALL SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT." then he starts to walk away. and so i say "that was really weird, grant, you're a really weird guy." and he says "why?" and i have no response.

so then he really does walk away & as he does he turns around to tell me that he's decided, just then, that he doesn't like chocolate. i am in full agreement of chocolate's grossness* so i say "actually, grant, i don't like chocolate either. it's pretty much nasty." and he says "yeah, weird," and walks out the office door.

when he came back through just now, he was obviously still pondering the thought of me doing freelance work for him and really, i can't wait for tomorrow or the next time he comes to the snack bowl, because there is more to this mystery to be revealed!

obviously, i am in love with all of this mystery and intruige.

& grant.

*this whole thing happened right after i came from the kitchen, where i was explaining to shuz that i wasn't going to eat any cake becos it was nasty chocolate and also where i had to explain to andrew that tuna sandwiches are nasty, too, since they're all full of mayonaise. as i was walking away, andrew shoved me & told me to get out of there. i think it's because of all the SASS.

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